Stupid Hoe

I have never understood the logic of a simple bitch. Bitches who can never seem to say something worthwhile. They always take advantage of the opportunity to present themselves as ghetto as possible. Look at others for handouts and blame them for their downfall. If you haven't guessed by now, I'm at the edge of my patience in dealing with Bitters. So to start, she's a two-faced bitch who has not spoken to me once without trying to intimidate me or call me names. She's responsible for a lot of unnecessary drama and I keep myself pretty guarded and straight faced when it comes to her. I would never talk shit to her, about her or any of that in front of Yah. She doesn't respect me in the same manner. She has stated that she's "been nice" to me and I'm rude to her. Uhm, smiling in my direction...

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Beautiful Life

Boy oh boy the past week+ has been hectic and stressful and at times wonderful. We picked up Ali on Sunday, and I was so happy to see her. I'm used to her leaving for the summer with her dad but this year I really did start to miss her. She is such a positive person, and I really hope she stays that way. Her and Yah Yah got along pretty well, even when Yah had reached her Ali limit she was still calm and respectful when she asked to have some alone time. However Ali did not want to give it to her, so I had to make sure I talked to her about it. Something she needs to work on is respecting other people's space & time and also discerning when people aren't in the mood to socialize. I know it's hard on her because she really just loves to be around other people and be involved, but as of...

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Summertime

The end of summer is fast approaching. Just a couple of weeks left before school starts. As much as I miss Ali, I'm unsure as to how well this year is going to go. Last year was a MESS. It was unplanned, unorganized, and stressful as hell. Yah Yah and Ali are like Red and Cyan on the color spectrum, complete opposites. So rewind a bit. December of 2010 I decided to stop running and love the man who loved me. At the time I was living in 407, I just had a baby that November, and I was living in my own apartment for the first damn time. Ali's dad was living with me to help take care of her since I worked nights and weekends. As much as I loved having my own place, I was tired of watching a grown ass man do absolutely nothing for his daughter. I knew that she loved having both of us around,...

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Misery Business

I can't feel the ground. I'm floating in a dark space trying to find a light. A light of hope, a light of compassion, I'd even settle for a light of clarity. Right now I don't have anything to make me feel worthwhile. I understand my past is tarnished, I tainted it knowingly. I continually chose my selfish excuses at the expense of your heart. A heart that was willing to love me through anything. But is it a heart that can believe in who I am now, or will it continue to beat in the past? I am not who I was, yet every time the opportunity allows your thoughts to go back to our past, it feels as though you seize that opportunity. Again and again. I beat myself up almost daily. Every day I look at my son and regret the situation in which he was brought to me. I look at my daughter and wonder...

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