Boy oh boy the past week+ has been hectic and stressful and at times wonderful. We picked up Ali on Sunday, and I was so happy to see her. I'm used to her leaving for the summer with her dad but this year I really did start to miss her. She is such a positive person, and I really hope she stays that way. Her and Yah Yah got along pretty well, even when Yah had reached her Ali limit she was still calm and respectful when she asked to have some alone time. However Ali did not want to give it to her, so I had to make sure I talked to her about it. Something she needs to work on is respecting other people's space & time and also discerning when people aren't in the mood to socialize. I know it's hard on her because she really just loves to be around other people and be involved, but as of right now she is the ONLY social butterfly in the house.
I really have a positive outlook on this year as far as the girls getting along. Yah Yah seems to be in a much better place than she was last year. I think since Bitters came back it's helped her relax a little more. She also gets to be "the only child" when she goes over there, which is great since she has been used to that for 9 years. It's understandable that she needs the quiet and sometimes attention that she was used to. It's also nice that she is starting to acclimate a bit better to the home life at our house. She is a GREAT big sister, she is very helpful with the 2 youngest and that is something that helps out tremendously with the running of our household. And now that she is more open to Ali and me, I really think we are starting to find our groove.
Yah went back to her mom's last Wednesday, she wanted to be there for the first week of school. We really had no problem with it, but Mr. Fox had to reiterate to her a couple of times that the clothes, shoes and supplies we bought her for school will be staying her. Last December Yah went to PA to her mom's for Christmas break. She packed all of her decent clothes. When she came back her she didn't have ANY of her jeans and skinnies. She brought back the same luggage as well as a couple other bags, but none of her stuff was in it. Just her tops and whatever presents [that wasn't clothes] they got her. Needless to say we were pretty pissed about it. So her mom tells her that she is going to ship her clothes, never did. She did bring them back with her in May, a couple weeks before school was out. Even though they were brought back, they still haven't been brought back home. From what I've been told and exposed to, this is nothing new for Bitters. When something is taken over to her [mom's] house it never comes back. It happened to Yah's phone, DS Charger, Clothing, Shoes, Deodorant and anything else. Mr. Fox would usually buy 2 of everything so that 1 could be kept at each residence. Not only do we not have the funds to do that with everything [especially clothing] I think he's finally realized that he can't keep doing her job. I realized that with Ali's dad a couple years ago, and to this day I still pick up the slack and it sucks but you just have to do your part it's not fair to do it all while they get to live the good life. No responsibilities or priorities that involve your child's well being and future.
So Bitters decides to call Mr. Fox and tell him how shitty he is for not going to the first day of school. He stayed home with the babes while I took Ali. We figured it would be fine for both Yah and Ali to have their moms there. He also had already spoke with Yah and let her know that even though he won't be there the first day of school, he is going to Open House. He also makes it a habit to attend anything that is important to her, like the Spelling Bee that she placed 2nd in :) Well she's telling him that it was important to Yah and he should have been there, in which he set her straight saying he already talked to his daughter and she didn't give a shit. Then she proceeds to tell him that because of his antics and Yah not having new clothes she was going to be getting money from her Aunt's new boyfriend to buy Yah some clothes. Uhhhh What.The.Fuck are you talking about? I don't understand how she is able to blame other people for her daughter not having new clothes [at her house]. She is the one who is 30, living with her mom, with no job or motivation to get a job, and nothing to her name. She is the one who let her daughter spend her $100 [from Christmas and Birthdays] on clothes and yet she still doesn't have any clothes. Oh because you let her buy a watch and accessories and probably pocketed the rest. Not only that, but because of YOUR antics and not making sure she had her good clothes for the rest of the school year, she doesn't have any of her new clothes over there.
I bought Yah her school supplies last year, and again this year. I bought her clothes this year. Her dad got her a couple outfits and a couple pairs of shoes. She has what she needs and it's staying here. She chose to spend the first week at her mom's house when she knew she wouldn't have new outfits for the first week of school. Obviously that wasn't even important to her. But who's the one making a big deal and taking money from a stranger for her responsibilities? Yeah...okay. Also because funds are tight, I bought the majority of her clothes from the thrift store. I really don't see the big deal, but when he mentioned that even though we don't have money to make it rain, we made due and got her clothing from the thrift store. She had the nerve to suck her teeth and turn her nose up. Tell me, how do you not provide shit for your kid, not even secondhand, and you have the audacity to judge us on how we do it.
I have never viewed the thrift store as a shitty place. I know that most people associate it with being poor and such, but I don't. I see it as being THRIFTY. I was able to get her 5 pairs of jeans, 2 capris and 4 shirts for $40. No way would I have been able to get her all of that for that price anywhere else. On top of the savings she has 4 pairs of Express jeans. I don't even own any Express [anymore]. I really don't feel bad about buying her secondhand clothing. I even got myself a pair of Vera Wang booties for $7.99, take that skunt.